The psychology behind what turns us on and how to play with it on purpose.
What if we explored sex as the playground in which we process all that it means to be human? Both the challenging aspects of life as well as the sublime… All the layers of who we are find expression in what turns us on.
Engage the undercurrents of the erotic psyche in practical and impactful ways through the art form of purposeful adult play dates.
Online sexual self discovery in the privacy of your own home.
Our turn ons are wiser than given credit for. The romantic sweet ones, and yes, even the confusing, conflicting and taboo ones!
Whether we are conscious of it or not, we process all that it means to be human through our sexual desires. Both the delightful and the challenging aspects of navigating a complex world, find expression in what turns us on.
We cannot disconnect our sexuality from all of who we are, and all we experience in the world, and expect to be whole.
Sex is still a largely untapped resource, not only for pleasure but also for profound self-discovery and deeper relationships with ourselves, each other and Life itself.
Becoming aware of this, and learning techniques to engage it, allows you to use this goldmine on purpose.
Sex, and indeed life, becomes more meaningful and satisfying in every way.
“It’s a rare person who comes up with an entirely new way of approaching a system of knowledge. Artemisia is one such pioneer – in traversing the complex, symbolic logic of the erotic.
She is an incomparable expert in both the subject of our unique sexual wiring AND the teaching of the skills to enable people to make sense of them. No one holds a candle to what she knows and how she teaches it!.”
Who is Artemisia de Vine?
Founder of The deVinery: Artemisia’s School of the Erotic.
Retired sex worker and somatic sexologist turned mentor, erotic choreographer, artist, writer, speaker and trainer with over two decades of experience delving into the art forms and psychology* of sexuality.
As a sex worker, I would often only have a brief conversation with a complete stranger before guiding them into an encounter or play date. I learned how to read their unique sexual psychology and translate that into a satisfying and meaningful experience.
Over time I developed ways of uncovering hidden aspects of the erotic psyche and engaging them on purpose. Play dates began to access whole new dimensions!
“She saw me, and heard me, in a way that is hard to describe, and she used what she saw and heard to create an experience that I wouldn’t have known to ask for but was exactly what I needed. She is truly expert at the skills of her craft.”
What I know…
While I have been privileged to learn from some of the world’s leading sexperts, and have been inspired and influenced by the work of Jack Morin in particular, I have to say that there is nothing quite like meeting and playing intimately with thousands of clients to teach you a thing or two about the erotic psyche and how to apply it practically!
My experience encompasses areas from companionship, role play, sensual love making, erotic massage, somatic sexology, spiritual sexuality traditions and in-depth BDSM, in addition to various psychological and somatic embodiment-based disciplines*.
While most clients were able to ask for vaguely what they were hoping to experience, most had no way of communicating the nameless yearning within. I became very good at asking the right questions, and reading unspoken signals to uncover their hidden erotic motivations, and then translating that in an erotic play date experience.
I learned very quickly that while they might ask for a particular activity, just enacting that was very hit and miss. Although sexual technique was flawless, lingerie stunning and the atmosphere seductive, the unnamable zing was not there.
My experience taught me that each person has their own unique erotic imprint, or fingerprint if you like, and if we learn how to tap into it on purpose though tailored play experiences, not only does that mysterious zing ignite and transport us, but our sexual expression becomes a gateway for profound self-discovery.
Over time, I developed a way of mapping the key elements of the erotic psyche that I needed to draw out of partners, through our play time together. Now I can share this art form with you.
*Note: While I attend and draw on trainings that are aimed at psychologists and therapists I am not a professional psychologist or therapist. I am, however, a certified somatic sexologist.
“If you are considering more kink education, this stuff is next level. I’ve taken classes, workshops and privates all over the US and Canada, and rarely can I recommend instructors this highly.
Also, if you like Betty Martin’s work, this is adjacent, or for some, is a next step.”
What I do
I guide people into the art form of creating tailored play dates and erotic encounters based on the potent, but often hidden, aspects of each person’s unique erotic wiring. I call this art form Erotic Choreography.
We take a deep dive into the sexual psyche together and form an aware conversation with your desire.
I then guide you in learning to recognise key elements of what makes up your unique sexual fingerprint and then give you the tools and techniques to apply and embody what you discover through intentional adult play dates, in the privacy of your own life.
This is relevant for solo, as well as partnered sexual play.
This body of work is centered in both the joyfulness of play and the safe(r) container of deeply embodied consent practices. I utilise trauma-informed frameworks, sexual psychology* and somatic embodiment concepts while drawing on the insights gained through sex work and personal experiences.
*Note: While I attend and draw on trainings aimed at psychotherapists, I am not a professional pscyhologist or therapist. I am however, a certified somatic sexologist and am committed to ongoing training that acknowledges both individual trauma and trauma created by systems of privilege such as race, gender, sexual orientation, class, health and more.
How does this benefit you?
In your personal life…
The combination of practical tools and processes together with a deeper understanding of embodied sexual psychology leads to not only more fulfilling sex for you and your partner/s, but also enables you to develop a meaningful relationship with your whole self, with the wholeness of others and with Life itself. Who knew self-development, purpose and meaning could be such fun!
For talk-based professionals who deal with the sexuality of their clients.
You will gain an understanding of the purpose and meaning of sexual desire in it’s variety of expressions, access to a complete process to guide clients into aware relationships with sexuality through consultations and practical tools and exercises.
For touch-based sexuality professionals, you will have access to a complete process for pre and post-session consultations as well as the skills and tools to create erotic choreography play sessions for your clients.
Warning! You can’t truly understand this art form without going through the process of sexual self-discovery yourself.
Who do I work with?
Whether you lean towards lovemaking, spiritual sex traditions or prefer your Saturday nights in chains in the dungeon, this process is relevant to you.
It suits those who desire self-discovery with awareness, value embodied wisdom, and wish to approach sexuality with integrity, consent and playful curiosity.
This body of work is for those who seek an active relationship with all of what it means to be human in a complex world through the lens and expression of sexuality.
In practical terms, I work with:
Partners who would like to learn how to engage in a deep and satisfying sex life together that extends well beyond the honeymoon phase. Love is truly seeing, engaging and celebrating the whole of each other. Desire is ignited by learning how to engage the mystery of each other’s erotic psyches through play.
Singles who want to understand themselves and their potential play partners with greater skill and depth. Yes, intentional adult play dates can be solo!
Those who would like to have more sexual confidence, pleasure and satisfaction.
Those who seek to understand confusing turn ons and desires that seem to oppose their everyday personalities.
Professionals who deal with client’s sexuality, including therapists, medical professionals, somatic sexologists, sex educators and sex workers, who would like a deeper understanding and set of practical methods and tools to use in their consultations and/or touch-based sessions.
I welcome folks of all genders and sexual orientations. Diversity and uniqueness are celebrated here.
However, it is not for everyone:
Certain forms of mental illness may not be suited to this approach. If you are unsure, please contact me to discuss.
This body of work may need to be in conjunction with therapy if there is a history of sexual trauma. This work is not a replacement for professional psychotherapeutic modalities but is an adjunct to it.
This is may not be a safe enough space for those who have a history of sexual trauma and are still in an active sexual trauma state, or have trouble setting or recognising boundaries. You may need to access specialised sexual trauma therapies before attending.
How We Work Together
“Artemisia has been an influential anchor in my life these past several years.
She is intuitive, measured and compassionate. She offers the gift of personal sexual freedom to those who seek it with integrity.
One cannot attach a value to this.”